Ape Escape! Ninja Monkey showdowns!
by Crossover Ace
Summary: Rock Lee and Sakura are the only ones left after stupid programs start coming onto TV. Tsunade wants help getting rid of the problom, what's the problom? Cheeky, overly smart Monkeys. Crossover of Naruto and Ape Escape 3. Slight LeeSaku moments.
1. Who will catch the monkeys?

**A.N: Get ready to respect the power of the funk!...wait, wrong website…heh, oops. I feel dumb! Yay for feeling stupid! It's a fun feeling, like hugging Rock Lee! Yay for fan girls!**

**Copyright crap: **_**Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto and Ape Escape belongs to whoever the hell thought catching no tailed monkeys was fun…and it is!**_

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Tsunade was shaking in her desk, Lee and Sakura busted through the door.

"Tsunade! Everyone in Konaha is just watching their TVs like mindless couch potatoes!" Sakura cried.

"Even Gai sensei, Tenten, Neji! Even them and they only watch TV once a year!" Lee exclaimed with tears in his eyes.

"I-I know. I got a call from the assistant of an old friend, same thing is happening to her."

"There are monkeys doing stupid things on every channel! I watched for 30 seconds then ran out the door screaming!" Sakura huffed. She hates monkeys.

"Yes, the monkeys somehow acquired monkey helmets again." Sakura and Lee glanced at each other.

"What!?"

"They're a device to make monkeys smarter."

"Why in all the world would someone create a device to make monkeys smarter?! They're stupid for a reason!" Sakura shouted then turned, Lee just rocked back and forth on his heels.

"Must be to get along better with something that has 99 of our DNA?"

"Hit the proverbial nail on the head Lee. Apparently, they're making TV shows so stupid that anyone who watches them becomes mindless couch potatoes." Lee and Sakura gasped. Monkeys making TV shows!? What next? Monkeys that cook people!?...Let's hope that doesn't come true. "She's sending me a net, they'll transport monkeys back here so I can deactivate the helmet." She stood up and pushed a button on the wall, it opened up and Lee and Sakura gasped to the big laboratory they saw. She went over to a screen with a cylinder shaped thing next to it. It started to glow, and not only did the net appear, but also…a monkey in yellow pants and a helmet.

"AHH!" The monkey started jumping around the lab and Tsunade got pissed.

"One of you, GRAB THIS NET AND CATCH THE MONKEY!" She threw the next towards the kids.

**-XOxoXOxoXOxoXOxoXOxoXOxoXO-**

_Monkey and Catch stood face to face. The catch leaped and the monkey spun out of reach, then tried scratching them, they jumped back then swung to the side…catching it._

**-XOxoXOxoXOxoXOxoXOxoXOxoXO-**

"I DID IT! I DID IT! WAHOO! I DID IT!" Lee shouted and jumped up and down. Tsunade and Sakura just shook their heads. Sakura missed the next and Lee caught it before it hit the ground.

"Yes, Yes, You caught the monkey. I'm actually quite impressed. You can be the monkey catcher, Sakura, I need your help here." Tsunade moved closer to Sakura's ear. "I wouldn't trust him around any of this scientific equipment anyways." Sakura nodded. Inside she wanted to catch the monkeys. Lee put a hand on her shoulder.

"Sorry Sakura." He tried soothing, she punched him.

"Don't touch me!"

"I know it is only a love tap! LOVE ME SAKURA!" Tsunade sighed, saving the free world with these two will not be easy.

**First chapter is officially done! Yes! How do you feel about Lee being the monkey catcher? Good? Bad? NETURAL!? Why don't you say what you think in a review?**


	2. Scoop! My 36th Wedding, He's off!

**A.N: Ape Escape, la la la. ANY WAYS! LISTEN UP! ****This will also be a slight strategy guide to beating Ape Escape 3. SLIGHT! Only telling you the basic story line and how to get some difficult Monkeys. I Hate some of those monkeys.**

**Copyrights:**_** Masashi Kishimoto and Dude who owns ape escape.**_

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"I DID IT! WAHOO!" Lee continued cheering. Tsunade had the monkey reappear in a square container, much calmer and easier to deactivate the helmet. The monkey was soon fine and placed in a monkey habitat room to make sure it wasn't still crazy.

"It's name is Ukki Pan. Birthday, 7/16." Tsunade read off the screen, Lee looked at the monkey net and it said the same thing. He smiled and rocked on his heels. Tsunade dug into a trunk and searched for something.

"Ukki Pan is a nice name for a monkey. If I was a Monkey I would want to be named that." Sakura rolled her eyes at Lee's mindless dribble and Sat next to Tsunade.

"Are you looking for something?"

"An outfit, Lee can't wear what he's wearing now. He's easily recognizable as a leaf shinobi and if someone from another land that also isn't under the monkey's spell, Lee could easily be arrested and there goes the human race." Tsunade said then pulled out an out fit around Lee's size. "Change into this." She threw Lee the clothes and he caught them and went into the back room to change. Sakura stood up and stood next to Tsunade.

"Do you really think anyone else hasn't been affected by the monkeys?"

"No, but I just couldn't handle him running around in spandex. Konaha has a reputation." Sakura smiled, and then Lee walked out. Sakura's eyes turned to hearts as she saw the new Lee. He wore Goggles, (Like all great male anime heroes do at some point), jean shorts, sneakers, and a black T-shirt under an overly big unbuttoned baseball shirt with a big red one on the back. He handed his leaf headband to Tsunade.

"Wow! Lee you look great!"

"Thank you Sakura! That means a lot coming from you!" Lee smiled and Sakura remembered he was the same goof ball with a bowl cut and bushy brows. The hearts in her eyes died. "Well Tsunade, where do I st- YOWCH!" Tsunade threw a blue glowing club at Lee and he failed to catch it. Smacking him in the face. "HEY! What was that for!?"

"It's a stun club. It's used to protect yourself from anything those monkeys might be using to stop you. Also, if you hit a monkey with it, they'll be stunned for a second, though…they may get angry and attack you instead." Sakura raised her hand.

"Tsunade? If they're monkeys, why don't they have tails?" Seriously? What the crap? Are they monkeys or chimps? An even better question is what the hell is yellow monkey? We'll have to find out when that time comes.

"Lee, here. Take this cell phone." She pulled a red phone out of a box and threw it to Lee. "This is how we'll help you while you're out on the field. Monkeys are not all as easy as that one. Hopefully, you can use your tai-jutsu to your advantage." Lee saluted. Sakura searched through a box and found a pink version of Lee's stun club, she deactivated it and put it in her pocket. Tsunade showed Lee how to deactivate the gadgets to fit in his pockets. Lee bounced on the soles of his feet anxious for when Tsunade would allow him to start this new journey to capture the monkeys. A big machine started to beep.

"You see that? It tells us that it's detected a new show about to be filmed. This machine is a warp pad. It can only be used when monkey helmets are activated. Let me see…" Tsunade checked the machine. "Well, this says the next show being filmed is a reality show called 'Scoop! My 36th wedding!' It's being filmed at the seaside resort in the land of tea." Sakura thought for a moment.

"36th wedding? What happened to that monkey's 35 other husbands?" Lee turned to her in shock.

"Maybe…SHE KILLED THEM!" Lee began to freak. Tsunade shook her head.

"Lee, just stand on that pad there and I'll send you instantly there." Lee smiled his youthful smile and stood where Tsunade told him. Then, there was a big Flash…

_**FLASH**_!...see? Big flash!

**-XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo-**

Lee blinked. The sun was extremely bright, unlike in Tsunade's lab. "Did everything taste blue for a second?" Lee's phone rang and he answered it. "Hello?"

"YOU CAN'T TASTE COLORS! NOW FOCUS AND CATCH THOSE MONKEYS!"

"Oww! Now I am Deaf!" He hung up the phone and looked around. He smiled, both because he saw a monkey, and because he was getting a chance to impress Sakura.

"MONKEY! YOU, ARE, MINE!" He ran screaming like a moron towards the monkey, net a blaze. Now we all know Monkeys aren't stupid. So when he saw a bushy-browed kid running towards him fast with a net and fiery eyes, he ran like hell the other way.

"No! Bad monkey! Get into this net!" Lee jumped and the monkey made a sharp turn. Lee fell flat on his face. "Ouch. Bad monkey!" He jumped back up and swung hard. The monkey went straight into the net. "Hmm, Nessel? I guess that is a good name…but Ukki Pan is much better though! Huh? What is that unyouthful thing?" Lee looked to a short little metallic thing. The cell phone rang and he answered.

"I just detected robots in the area! They were made to stop monkey catchers!" Tsunade yelled into the phone.

"You mean I am not the only one?" Lee groaned. He thought he was special.

"Right now you are! The two normal monkey catchers who caught them in the past are under the monkey television show spell! Now go stop the broadcasts for that area!" She hung up abruptly. Lee shoved the phone in his pocket then pulled out the stun club.

"Time to test this baby out!" He ran up and hit the robot, it cracked then tried jabbing him in the chest. He backed up just in time. He smashed it _much_ harder. It broke, and out popped, a cookie! "Ooh! Cookie!" He picked it up and ate it…Eww, he ate it off the ground! He looked around. Then saw a monkey with a microphone. "MY MONKEY!" This is what happens when we give Lee cookies!

"Reporter Monkey named Ukki Pia, MINE! See, That is also a good name for a monkey!" He walked around until he saw someone holding a paper while drinking coffee. "Oh, sir! Sir!" He ran up and they didn't do anything.

"Sir? Have you seen any monkeys?" The paper shrugged. Lee looked disappointed. "Oh, you see, I am trying to catch them, so I can save the world…and win Sakura's love!" The paper made kissy noises. Lee got pissed. "SHUT UP!" He lost his temper and smacked it really hard with the stun club. "Uh oh." He checked to make sure he didn't kill it and realized it was a monkey! He swung his net and caught the strange coffee drinking monkey. "Ukki tan? That is a great name! Any name that starts with Ukki is!" He Looked and saw a helicopter, thinking that meant people, he ran towards it like a moron again.

"Well, I just caught yet another monkey, I think I am getting good at this!" He said to a camera, then it shot at him. "Oww! You are not a camera! You are a robot!" He smashed it and saw a monkey holding a camera. His phone rang.

"What now?" Lee asked irritated because he saw the monkey and didn't want it to get away.

"If you sneak up to a monkey, it WON'T run away as soon. That means it will be easier to catch!" Lee's eyes grew wide.

"Oh…that makes sense." He hung up then got on his stomach and crawled to the monkey. He got close, then swung up and caught it. "Got you…uh, Ukki Pia! Wow, that is not a great name either." He stood up and brushed himself off, he saw a big button that was glowing and red. And what happens when (cute) idiots see big glowing red buttons? They hit it with a stick. Of course Lee doesn't have a stick, he has a stun club. So, he smacked it with the stun club. He heard wedding bells and the doors to the chapel opened. A monkey in a wedding dress and another in a tuxedo. They held hands and Lee's eyes shined as he thought about him and Sakura getting married. His phone rang.

"STOP THINKING ABOUT MARRYING ME!"

"Sakura!? H-How did you know!? Can you see me?"

"Yes! This is a live broadcast from a camera placed in the area that will only break once every monkey in that area's caught! SO CAPTURE THOSE MONKEYS!" Lee shoved the phone in his pocket and ran over to the bride and groom, He caught the bride, Salurin, and the groom monkey just shook his head. Lee caught it during this time.

"Sarubo? Who gives them these names? They need the name with Ukki!" Lee looked into the chapel and saw a monkey playing piano. He walked in, knowing running in a chapel in the land of tea is offensive, and smashed robots as he walked quietly to the pianist. The monkey noticed him and jumped from the piano and ran around, Lee didn't want to chase it. So he threw the net at the monkey, luckily, it actually went into the net.

"I am that damn good!" Phone.

"No you're not." Hung up and back in the pocket. Lee was pissed. He walked outside and heard a monkey above him. He looked up to see a monkey hanging from a helicopter.

"Hey! You! Yes you, you stupid monkey! Get down from there so I can capture you!" It pulled it's bottom eyelid down and stuck it's tongue out. Lee copied it. It blew a raspberry, Lee copied it, Lee's phone rang and Tsunade answered.

"Lee! Stop playing Idiot see, Idiot do!"

"Is it not Monkey see Monkey do?"

"No, YOU'RE copying the monkey, Idiot sees, idiot does! Now catch it!"

"I can not! It is too high up!" He heard Tsunade sigh.

"Well…The broadcast of the show has stopped. In order to cancel it you need that monkey, but as long as the show stopped you can come back for n-" The monkey mooned Lee.

"That Monkey just mooned me!" Lee threw a coffee cup at it and it got startled and lost it's grip. "Now you jerky monkey, YOU ARE MINE!" Yes, normally you need the sling back shooter thing, but Lee doesn't come back here, so he threw a coffee cup instead. He chased the monkey left, then right, then actually up a wall. Finally, The monkey remembered it can't walk up walls. So it fell straight into Lee's net like in a cartoon.

"All Here are mine! I caught them all! Yes I did! I hope Sakura saw me!

-Back at the lab

"Did you see Lee catch that monkey Sakura?" Tsunade asked As Sakura walked into the room.

"No, I just went to make a sandwich." Tsunade pushed a big green button as the screen on the TV turned to that fizzle channel of nothing, and Lee came back. Doing the happy dance.

**Funny eh? I hope so. I try, but mostly I don't give a monkey. "MONKEY? WHERE?" Not now Lee, so please review, otherwise that monkey (Named like, Ukki something) will come and moon you too! And no one needs that mental image.**


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